How to Spot Homesickness in 10 Ways*

You’re finally free! You’ve met hundreds of super exciting people, announced your friendships as “official” via Facebook, joined the best society on campus and sat through some eye-opening/closing lectures in your first few days of university.  Life couldn’t get any better.

Well, it could, you think to yourself, if your best friends from home were here too. You wonder what they’re up to right now. Dad would have found the building really interesting and Mum, well Mum would have definitely laughed when she heard what your crazy neighbour said this morning about… oh, what was it? You don’t even remember anymore, it was hilarious at the time though, just like when you all took that family trip to…

Your eyes suddenly feel prickly… vision is blurring… is that, a tear? What’s happening!? Is it…homesickness?

You may be in denial, but if you’re showing any of the following symptoms, it may be time to give your parents or friends from home a call…

1) You’re starting your sentences with: “back home”, a lot

Does the prefix of “back home” slip in just before you tell a slightly monotonous story about something that happened years ago with your home friends which concludes with you laughing alone saying, “You had to be there.”?  Better start being more selective with those “This one time, at band camp” stories to minimize the chances of boring your new found friends to death.

2) “Different” is now interchangeable with “not as good”

Was the cheese sandwich you just bought from the union shop really not as good as the one your Mum used to make, or is it just different? I might be raising a controversial point here among sandwichphiles, but are there really that many ways to make a cheese sandwich “better” than another? If the answer is yes, call your mother now, or join the university’s cheese sandwich lovers club- you have a rare talent.

3)  You swear you just saw someone you knew from home (at 5 minute intervals)

Unless your university is really just around the corner from your home town, it’s very unlikely that the guy who served you a skinny cappuccino this morning was the same guy who used to walk your neighbour’s grandmother’s dog. By all means, chase after every person who happens to remind you of someone back home, you might get a friend or a restraining order out of it.

4)  Your Facebook stalking takes on a life of its own

You used to spend no more than an hour on Facebook a day, now you’ve become obsessed with reading the status updates of everyone you know back home which has spiralled into checking out their new friends as well. If you find yourself thinking anything along the lines of:  “Who’s THAT girl with him?”, “Why on earth did she add him as a friend?”, “They went to that place without me!?” then you’re on the verge of becoming a full-out cyber stalker and it’s time to get a grip. Either give your friends a call to catch up, or go out! No more clicking!

5) Your internet searches match your homesickness

Find yourself searching for TV shows, local news or even Google mapping your old neighbourhood? (Yes, this does happen). You’re trying to virtually transport yourself back to the familiarity of your pre-university years.

6) Everything screams: “home!”

The answer is “no”, in response your question of whether that donut was made in the shape of your home town’s mascot on purpose. If you find yourself making these sorts of comparisons, you need to either pay home a visit or look into checking into a psych ward.

7) You’ve renamed everyone

They’re being polite. Your female lab partner whose hair colour bears an uncanny resemblance to your best friend’s from home DOES mind that you keep calling her Bob.

8) Nobody “gets” your jokes, therefore, everybody is stupid

Did you conclude that your new friends are stupid when they did not laugh at your tried-and-tested one-liner which gets you high fives at home? It’s time to face the music and accept your suffering from homesickness. Needless to say, humour is highly subjective and some jokes just don’t translate cross-culturally; it’s time to stop comparing your new friends with the ones who find you funny. You can either get some new friends, a different sense of humour, or reach for the phone and beg for your old friends to give you a sympathy laugh.

9)  Verbal bombardment of anyone who mentions your home

You scream whenever anyone mentions the name of your home and corner off the person to talk about how great the food/public transport/museum is. Do you sense fear as you see their eyes darting around the room, looking for an opportunity to escape? Do you continue to ramble on? It's homesickness. You need help.

10) You’re crying yourself to sleep every night

Thoughts of home mixed with alcohol after a night out can lead to some unexpected tears on the pillow (and temporary amnesia as the morning sun fills your room with shame). Either you’re having an emotional breakdown, or you’re suffering from homesickness. One requires extensive therapy whilst the other requires a Skype account to cure. Pick wisely!

*This blog entry’s title is not intended as a cheap rip-off of the popular romantic comedy, “How to lose a guy in 10 days” **. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.
**Yes, it is.